Attack of the Gnome

Are Gnomes in the know?


Gnomes can be a great thing, or a bad thing, but on a beautiful July summer day in the hottest part of Central Texas, our home is a collection of hills and dips in which the evasive plant known as Youpon dwells.   Though I’ve never seen a real Gnome, but I have seen statues at garden centers,  I do believe these creatures exist, and yes they exist here in Texas.    I don’t know how many times I’ve left my toolbox open on my porch to find, yes tools missing.   My children say it wasn’t them, but there is something mysterious afoot in our home.  I do find tools spread out throughout the property, usually months later, rusty and broken, and I wonder how the heck did this socket wrench get here.   I think I have Gnomes, there is no other explanation.

So first, we need to catch them in the process of stealing the items from your garden tool shed.  What is the motivation of these creatures to actually steal your tools?   Well that goes back to the fact that in Texas Dwarfs are all but extinct.  Tool making is not an occupation for Gnomes, they have a tendency to focus on earth centered jobs such as gardening. It doesn’t mean that the Gnomes won’t steel your prized socket wrench,  This has happened to me.

Most common outdoor cameras are much too slow to catch these creatures in the process of stealing your stuff.   Though common belief these creatures move slowly, it isn’t true.    I’ve heard people say “Build a Wall and Keep them Out”,  this might be partially true, but they can build walls also, and if you don’t keep them happy, they will destroy your vegetation, making your landscape a virtual desert.  Yes, you want a green thumb,  keep the Gnomes happy.

My solution has been simple,  I keep all my good tools locked up so the dang little critters can’t get to them.   I know they like to dig with my box wrenches, but I would rather buy them a few spades than bother with creating a mess of broken and missing tools!

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